So he's won it even faster than Obama did! Funny that Trump got nothing for helping to broker the four peace agreements in the Middle East over the last year.
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- Chemistry - For his incredible chemistry with the American people
- Medicine - For administering life-saving vaccines to millions of people after Trump selfishly hoarded them in his basement
- Literature - For writing some of the most compelling speeches and most beautiful tweets ever written
- Peace - For ensuring a peaceful transfer of power with 30,000 National Guard troops
- Economic Sciences - For raising the minimum wage-- something no one has ever tried before
"This is astounding. It feels so good to finally have a competent president again," said White House Correspondent Jim Acosta with a tear in his eye.
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