"7 ... Signs That Trump Will Be Named President In 2022" - Yes, satire and parody

Hahaha.

We know that Donald Trump is the rightful president of these United States, but ‘normal people’ seem to think he lost an election or something. As the time draws near for our God-Emperor to finally stop the steal, keep an eye out for these prophetic signs that we are truly on the right side of history.

1) An orange sun rises in the east:  Electromagnetic radiation scattering across the atmosphere has been heralding his return for thousands of years.

2) If you add up all the digits in 2022, you get 6, which is the exact number of letters in the name DONALD:  I double-checked with a calculator. It’s legit.

3) Satanic pedophiles are acting really nervous:  They clearly know something we don’t. They’re also great for stock tips.

4) QAnon Shaman saw a bald eagle fly by his solitary confinement cell window:  I dreamed it happened so it must be true. I certainly couldn’t go talk to him.

5) As I took the trash out this morning, a little orange bird rested on a tree branch in front of me and sang a beautiful tune:  Clear sign.

6) If you look in the ‘Bible Code,’ there’s a place where the words ‘Orange King,’ ‘Ruler Who Rules,’ ‘Twenty-Two,’ and ‘Big Mac’ all intersect: Only true prophecies are hidden and hard to understand. My pal, Fred, has been coding ciphers for years and he knows what he’s talking about.

7) I got a text message asking me to send $10 so that Trump can share some "very exciting news" with me:  This is it, you guys!

Please remember, all prophecies not from God have a huge margin of error. But I have a good feeling about these.