Reasons for not reading the Bible

The funny thing is, most people will have no idea what some of these references are to - what's The Chosen, and who the heck is Ehud?

We get it. It's hard to read the divinely inspired word of the creator of the universe. He's so judgy!...

Here are some of the best excuses for not reading your Bible:

1. 1. You just went to church last month and don't want to overdo it: You don't want to be an extremist!
   2. It's not as encouraging as Your Best Life Now: Joel Osteen's prose is to die for.
   3. If you take your eye off the Hot Pocket you're microwaving for one second it might burn: And then you'd be hungry! God wouldn't want that.
   4. You already watched The Chosen: It's so hard to get into a good book if you already know how it ends.
   5. Those 900 Korok seeds in Zelda: Breath of the Wild aren't going to collect themselves: Finding Korok seeds is a metaphor for finding Christ probably.
   6. You're Donald Trump and don't need forgiveness: He has never done anything wrong, ever.
   7. You're still recovering from the story of Ehud: Enough to give anyone PTSD.
   8. You misplaced your copy and new ones are so hard to find: You have to walk all the way to the back of Barnes & Noble.
   9. The Jordan Peterson lecture on Genesis you watched has you covered: Up yours woke moralists! We'll see who cancels who from paradise!
   10. It's not like the Bible is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work, or anything like that: 'Cause if it were, you'd definitely meditate on it day and night.

Comments

[the Provost of Pools - SWEAT]

Another good reason, of course, is so that you would have sufficient time to work on starting a third national political party to become a viable alternative to those rascally Republicans and Demorats, who are forever messing things up !

TRUMP/DESANTIS in 2024 ! ! !

[the Provost of Pools - SWEAT]

Another excellent reason for not reading the Bible is so you'll have more time for the Mass, Rosary, Chaplet of Divine Mercy, Stations of the Cross, Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, and converting those crazy Bible believing Protestants back in to the One and Only True Church which Christ established ! ! !

[the Squire of Squirts and Spurts - SWEAT]

Reading the Bible frequently, or even daily for that matter, is a laudable habit, and a very good spiritual practice. I would highly recommend it. However, that being said, there still remain THREE very strong reasons for NOT reading the Bible, for those of you out there who need to protect yourselves from Bible-thumping protestants and the like.
First: the Bible came from the Church, NOT the Church from the Bible.
Second: the Bible is NOT the sole rule of faith. It is just one leg of the stool of Divine Revelation; the other two being Tradition and the Magisterium.
Third: the Bible is NOT necessary!!! And YES, I really did just say that. Jesus commanded His disciples to go out and preach, not to go out and write a book. Because Jesus gave the Church His own authority to teach, if we never had a Bible it wouldn't be missed because the Church alone proclaims Christ's truths and has done so for 2000 years, notwithstanding the last 9 disastrous years of Antipope Bergoglio!
But know that the preceding excellent and provocative thoughts are definitely not my own. I borrowed them from Joe Sixpack. Kudos to him!

[tom faranda]

How do you know Jesus commanded his disciples to go out and preach if not for it being in the bible.That statement of yours has lots of holes in it and is not worth discussing.

[the Squire of Squirts and Spurts - SWEAT]

"That statement of yours....." (Faranda)

I already confessed - in my above post - that those very provacative thoughts were not mine, but were Joe Six Pack's. Therefore, you need to take it up with him over a few cold ones!